Villa Carlos. Es Castell. Cales Fonts or even Georgetown

Cales Fonts is a delight. Known to us variously by all the names in the title, for lots of reasons.  Our early forays  were always from the main square in Es Castell, now there is a car park and subway further up the road.

Morning walk and drink, or fishing with the boys

By night the outcome is always the same. Walk about a bit, look at the tapas bars. Groucho's crepes. Club Maratimo. Dinkums, Irenes. And end up in the same old green  pizza place. Great for people watching. But eating? Can't even remember what we had it was that poor. Should have gone to El Chavitos boys.

But what night time scenes.

The year of the large cokes

 @Northwalshamboy tweeted on return, "Year of the large cokes". It has been lovely seeing the Bureboy tribe graduating up through the  ordering rankings. @'bain3z  getting gloriously chocolatey in Es Grau. The first menu del nino. Punkies or a chuppa and toy from the dispenser in Carmens. Polo Fresa  at Los Buccaneros, . (shh Grandpa's Magnums from the freezer) later walking to Grumpys to get ice cream for pud. Of course Copa de Venus or "Pudding". Never panacotta.

Ham and cheese toasties, chicken noogets and escalopes(Will) and of course entrecote, always with the pepper sauce. (@HenryBaines) or one year cubanos (timbale of rice with a tomato sauce for @Northwalshamboy

Drinkage. Coke has been the holiday fave, small of course, and strangely " a large bottle of water please".
I have always been vaguely amused by being charged the same for a cana (200-250ml) of soft drink or beer.between 1.25-2.50 Euro drinking at table. A jarra (400-500mil) from 2.50-3.50 Euro, more when at eating. Some times an actual  "pinta".

Now this is the stuff...

Add to embarrassing ordering technique, no attempt at Spanish from Commander-in Chief to ordering cheese in Spanish and getting cheesecake  (Titular Head) the dreaded phrase "big boys cokes".

Not this year, confident large coke or large beer all round...

Cafe drinks mostly fanta limon/cokes (or schweppes here), and agua con gas/cafe con leche for me.

Magners (bottle) or Strongbow(can) big at the mo, but at a big price. Much better this sort of stuff.

Magic Mahon

We will begin, and return in later posts to a theme of walking about a lot, looking and plumping for the same place again cos that is what we do.
So, an evening out in Mahon, or as the signeage will now have it Mao  means walking along the harbour (never up in the town itself), and this year using the brand new lift. No more dodging dog and crustie poo and squashed figs down the long ramp leading out by the floating restaurant.  Some very impressive gin palaces in the harbour, Some never seem to leave, like 2J's. Some have gone, like Jimmys. Some like El Moldi are rusting trawler hulks  clocking up massive mooring fees and now moved off to the other side of the harbour.

Some are super yachts, of Roman Abramovich proportions..(.this is Givi, and is for charter. I don't know how much for.  A lot.) Taken from the lift on it's descent. It did make some of the bigger boats in look small. And envious

It's reputedly  the second deepest natural harbour in the world, certainly  big enough for ferries and cruise ships.

Oh look, the yellow catamaran glass bottom boat. Somewhat dwarfed.

Apart from a sad experiment at Nashville once we always, always eat at  Pierro. Not 222 or Dos, Dos, Dos, which is next door. Both employ legions of greeters trying to entice you to eat. Dont. It's annoying. Even if it is Lily Allen or Rodent Girl. More of whom later.  No pretence of looking this time, straight there. Now,once I had a chicken dish off Menu del dia that was heavenly. This time we had to ferret out the  menu del dia and menu Menorquin which were  grudgingly provided. This was before menu del dia curfew of 9pm.

No Lilly Allen waitress and Rodent Girl was way over the other side.Will don't even care mate, but @bain3z is disonsolate and folorn. About no Lilly Allen. Weak smile. Titular Head is taken with Rodent Girl which is somewhat sad for a fat old man..

Food? My fish stew was very nice and the water came in a nice powder blue bottle..

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That was probably the highlight of the night, apart from the view.

And the traditional ice cream  a bit further down the promenade, and the drive back along the harbour, past the rocket (power station) and back up the hill, to The Final Countdown.. Look at that plume of exhaust from the chimnney adding to the glow of the setting sun

Pirate Petes,. or Daveed's. Cala Torret. Gastro yes

The front at Cala Torret has, over the years been base camp for the Bureboy tribe. Sited over some lock ups, and what was purported to have been, in plans anyway a nightclub. Some one didn't research Menorca tourist demographics there then.

Looking over to Costa bomb and Sito's. Here is where  many a lolly (either gratis from D&P or from Carmen's dispensing machine ) has been devoured, before the trip back up the magic stairs ..

The terrace has been home (always) to D&P'S, Carmen and in varying guises El Faro. In between D&P's  and Carmens was either empty, or for a while Baloo's. Roid rage waiter flitted between Baloo's and El Faro's. Irene did a "famous" curry. Apparently. Didn't appear to have a returnee trade, or appeal to the Spanish tourists.

A little while back the empty space was populated by a large rum style barrel, some fancy "authentic" pirate maps and a waiter with an earring, bandana and a little note book of dishes to compliment the specials menu boards, brought to the table by said piratical waiter. English by accent and appearance but not particularly fluent in it? Interesting.

Taberna de Corso had  arrived, or as it is known "Daveeds". I presume Daveed is the chef//and maitre de resplendent in shorts and crocs under his whites With socks. He seems to have replaced Pirate Pete out front of house this year. Tapas, and bloody well presented tapas at that. Majors in speciality gins.That's Freeman territory. The complimentary amuse bouche is interesting. Watch the newbies  approach the shot glasses, sip or chug and work out just what it the glass contains, and why? Watermelon gazpacho we deduced. Acquired taste and texture.

The deal is, lots of tapas or raciones, served with some flair and tasting as good as it looks. Comes in regular intervals, and varied enough to hold most interests. Not for those who like a traditional mains approach.

Don't let tough crowd and sophisticate @bain3z put you off. Gamba's with top notch soy dipping sauce, sweet red peppers stuffed with cod. Divine.  So good look at it again...

and at this creation. Something in tempura. But something very nice.

You will have deduced by the early evening sun glinting of Baines 5's glasses that we dined a little earlier this year.So early in fact us and another party arrived, at booked time (past advertised opening) and the tables still had the chairs on them,. Much bustling and moving of specials boards, and flapping of little notebook menu prompt. You will also spot that  (no one knows his facebook or twitterr or whatever username) so we will call him Will is a bit despondent about his beer. Now, the Taberna is one of the best priced outlets for beer. A jarra, or about 400-500ml Amerril is a very reasonable 2.75 Euro. Ordering a large beer had become an everyday experience for Will. He got a small beer. Waitress did not know the difference between tuna carpaccio and sea bass menorcan style. We have already seen @bain3z seemingly recalling the dreadful panacotta moment at Villa Madrid.

Very nice eats but learn something. Service is all. Most expensive meal of the trip but disappoint on service and the tip is just that. Get it right and they'll come back. Don't and they probably won't. Apart from the lure of the cod stuffed sweet red peppers and a wish that I'd ordered the pescaditos fritos A damn great whacking raciones worth of them. Gets a lot of Spanish trade  which can only be good. Must be the vegetables. Not not tinned, bottled or ratatouille

Good people watching: the large party (who is married to who, are you sure? Shouldn't we know two of the women, they look very off the TV to me?Thai bride who wasn't. Kids home from boarding school?
What the hell did they make of us?

 By the way, don't go out as a family and spend the whole time, adults especially tapping a tablet (apps my arse), scrolling on a smart phone or playing a hand held. Talk, bicker or sulk. Leave the gadgets at home. Except for the camera of course!

Tobogon schmogon

Cala Galdana has always been a regular stop for the Bureboy tribe, for the beach and the eats. A grand sweeping bay always sheltered from the sea. We have been in the rain, one year it rained the whole fortnight and we were the only ones on the whole of this great sweep of sand. It was here that Commander in Chief, who set off with Auntie Ruth to find a rumoured isolated cove first succumbed to her curse, "hot head"

Way back when, we favoured the road in side of the beach (left of the bay above, and the snack bars there, or perhaps the El Mirador, perched on the rocky outcrop above but for many years  not using the part of beach at it's feet

When we did migrate round it was for the boys to fish in the rocks and watch the volley ball

and eat and slide at the Tobogan. Yes, that is a large, red tap seemingly supported on a column of water. Majoring in pizza, and damn fine crispy, thin wood cooked pizza up to crazy size at that. The menu, in Spanish, German and English showed every single dish. literally on a dish in a picture just so you got what you wanted. Cheap enough for a starter if you didn't have crazy size pizza.  I always went localish to start, perhaps chipiriones (fried baby squid), or mussels, and if having a pizza seafood special. I did have half a chicken once, lovely and crisp fried skin, and raw inside. It was returned, microwaved and sitting back on the salad and chips, just as I had left them when I sent it back. I did not eat it. Which for me means it was very raw.

As the tribe youngers got  a bit older we opted to arrive at about 1-2ish, lunch then beach rather than an early start and  be banging on the door (it's open plan but you get my meaning) at a respectable English with kids at 12 on the dot.Either way, and with beer and/or sangria metabolised with swim, snorkel, fishing, bat and ball we would head back to the river side of the Tobogan and dispatch the tribe  with a bag of tokens to ride the slides topped by that huge red hovering tap. and have drinks and ice creams. One year, having been convinced that we had spotted Inspector Beech from Operation Good Guys before lunch, already bouyed by that  at post beach slide we were seated next to Liverpool, Newcastle and England superstar John Barnes. No, he wasn't wearing that dodgy Cup Final suit but very orange shorts. John Barnes, your actual John Barnes. John Barnes, wonder goal against Brazil. In the flesh, en famile. Didn't pap him though he is in a video, shot in the year of Crazy Dad which is currently  under reporting restrictions. And is also on VHS. Which apparently is lame, and certainly not heading for a vinyl type revival so won't be on You tube anytime soon.


First things first,. In years past the Me 1 snaked it's way through Fererries and a steep drop which Titular Head  (me) had grown to tolerate, not entirely fear. At the top of this white knuckle ride the left hand Cala Galdana turn off, past the stables and regular horse show restaurant was a calming return to near normal pulse and equilibrium. Now there is a bypass and tunnel which means  no clenched jaw, painful grip on steering wheel. (I am never ever going up Monte Toro in a car though , even if it is now nearly all 2 lane road now).

What do you mean, you don't like change? That's it.  Things have changed. Even at Tobogan. No scary eyes waiter. Gaunt waiter is fuller of face No pictures on the menu. And no crazy sized pizza. They had even forgotten to turn on the water on the giant levitating red tap, ruining for ever childhood awe and wander on how it worked. Same paper place mats, and same slide tokens (an impressive 27 goes for 5 Euro) But a mediocre "Gourmet burger" in ciabatta for 10 Euro? And  wrong drinks. I didn't have enough change to not leave  a whopping 20 Euro tip so scraped together about 3 and a half  Euro loose change. (Well, there is 6% IVA). I am not sure if the post beach drinks did actually  taste slightly funny but the low post prandial tip certainly had been noted..... never  mind, the slide was enjoyed by all who had a go And I did a mighty long swim around the El Mirador rock and back under the footbridge.Nearly under the glass bottom boat.

.

Aranel d'en Castell, off piste

Aranel d'en Castell. A relatively new but rapidly favoured addition to the  Bureboy tribe travel and eat  itinerary. As below a great sweeping bay and tucked away on the eastern end a beach bar, at the foot of a wooded approach.

Now, before  we touch on food Bureboy, or Titular Head  has taken of late to go for  a "long swim". In this case to the "open water" at the foot of what are impressive cliff at that eastern end. Harshed a seagull as well as @HenryBaines waited to be picked up by pedalo.

It's a proper beach bar, with proper beach bar food.

to set you up for a swim, long or short

Vegetables? Not from a tin, or worse a jar?

Following a somewhat difficult and heated  passage in Bureboy tribe relationships in the second capital, Cuitadella and on the strict instructions  from Tour Guide @walshamboy we headed for the cooler clime of Aqua Park Los Delfines, Cala en Blanes. Not sure why no pic but you have to see the 61 Sixty One Irish  pub Barrack Obama wall mural opposite.

Years gone by the micro Bureboys would spend many an hour  in this or sister water slide park Aqua Rock, in Cala en Bosc. @bain3z tested the E111 system thoroughly having cracked his skull on a slide. Red Cross hospital, x-ray, stitches, seeing crusties being discriminated  against. What a pip.

We slowly graduated to the younger ones being deposited with Commander -in chief whilst the remainder looked round Ciutadella, sulked about broken sandals and finding fish markets. And , best of all (at the time of a Big Brother series) resounding cry from  Family Chav looking round a souvenir mug stall "They've got a Darnell boys".

The point is?
Well, on one occasion myself, Titular Head opted for some local sounding food, the"tipical" Menorcan Chicken. Served in an earthenware pot, and resting on....vegetables. Yes. Onions, tomatoes. garlic cloves and everything. Cooked in chicken juices, and from  fresh! The sun broke out from the clouds, skylarks soared and tweeted, . You get the picture (apologies to Chris Yates).  And cheap.

Given it  may never happen again we just had to go.

 Commander -in chief's core body temperature now down to about 104oC

Does the menu still cut it? Has it changed?
At first glance  this probably says not.....

 Tasty Menrocan sausage. On a skewer

Not your traditional tapas dish I grant you

Me being me the reason for my visit, Menorcan chicken , with vegetables was not captured. on SD card, in fact I nearly left the camera behind  on the floor. It was a damn fine piece of chicken though.. Thumbs up today all round

@bain3z made an observation which is worth exploring. Nice beer. Estella Damm? No, it appears that in general that grockles get served San Miguell or similar, unless they ask for the better tap offering. More pondering on size, price, being sick of louts in replica shirts pointing and shouting etc later.

Gastronot

This might be the last summer vac for tribe Bureboy in sleepy ol' Menorca. Well, at 169 Binebeca Nou anyway. For 25 years we have been fortunate enough to stay  off-charter.  Great memories, including snow in Shangri-La, "Piss da la way go" and being served a hamwich on a car boot pyrex plate as "cordon bleau". And of course the roat suckling pig, or toat and merrmelade. Or chicken noogets, steak with the pepper sauce.

Now, with the Commander in chief in charge, who gets confused by the choice in Subway and Nando's, and Titular Head constantly worrying about the price and having the cheapest thing on the menu, and of course 5 children  to get fed and in bed by 8.30pm eating out in foreign parts was never  likely to include much local fare.

Combine  the above with an island nation seemingly enjoying eating tinned food and eateries firmly sticking with chips with everything over the years then we  learnt not to expect much.

Our early forays way back when were to place such as D and  P's in Cala Torret. Friday night fish and chip night would see hordes of English ex-pats and returnees queued way up the alley for a table. Even if you were on the last flight in you would hope to get in.  Never mind the very  faded screen idol's staff in Pedro's gleefully emptying the mop bucket over the first few tables in from the balcony. or the diseased  cats all over the place.  Scandals on  late autumn nights, garlic prawns sizzling in hot oil. Hot spit chickens from Bar Bini (later from SYP). Nanny's Chef salad and chili prawns and of course perky time. Well,  on foreign shores you need alcohol at 10.30am and 5.30pm. (Clock firmly set to English time)

We used to stuff our suitcases out bound with bacon, a gammon, Frey Berntos tinned pies, squash and probably tea bags to get a good cup of tea. Or boat  radio equipment,  tools and car parts for Grandpa.. (He had trucked a boat, Sea Dancer over  from Wroxham, loaded with white goods out)

No doubt we would  end up at ;Los Buccaneros at least once this trip. Nestled in the corner of Binebeca beach, 10 minute walk from 169. An iconic white boat shed  building with red doors. Thatched "palm" umbrellas and rickety 3 leg stools. Guaranteed to tip you off, that's after you poked your eye out on the thatched shade. Shirts on at bar, no drinks alone served at table and as not really seen as  food, hot dogs to be ordered  from the pot washer not the waiters.

The entrance to Hades (The galley)

When bewildered for choice, or  "having a cheap villa lunch and tea out" no doubt we would be supping on bread based snacks.

Classic combination. Baton, Tulipan spread, Mahon cheese, ham, garlic mayo and of course cheap, cold beer.

Oh for the days of three bottle of wine lunches (rose, white and red, Irish coffee and fun dad in the pool. that was when D&P's or Pedro's (Carmen's when D&P closed on Tuesday nights) were to be visited, 12 nights out of 13 (no driving, no imagination.). The 13th night? Mahon harbour or Villa Carlos. but never the last night. D&P's or Pedro's, Again..Copa de Venus instead of Punkies. Of course. And  house Cava, not Rose.

Be prepared then, for a gastronot tour of Menorca, spread over the next few posts and ponder what it would be like to eat proper Menorquin cuisine if you went without us....